Kindness to Regain a Sense of Belonging and Health

Sometimes though, we may lose our sense of belonging. This can be for a myriad of reasons. Traumatic events could influence a person’s self esteem and self-compassion. Trauma often leaves survivors feeling out of sync with the rest of the world. They feel lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, turmoil and emotional pain that creates a sense they are different.

Our relationship quality is affected by our mental, physical and emotional health. As researcher and author Brené Brown explains, “A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all men, women, and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”

One way to help regain a sense of belonging is through kindness. It makes you feel happier and improves your mood.

Kindness increases

The Love Hormone: Witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, occasionally referred to as the ‘love hormone,’ which improves our overall heart health. Oxytocin also increases our self-esteem and optimism, which is helpful when we’re anxious in a social situation.

Energy: People feel stronger, more energetic, calmer and less depressed after helping others.

Lifespan: Giving help to others protects overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease.

Pleasure: When you are kind to another person, your brain’s pleasure and reward centers light up. This phenomenon is called the “helper’s high.”

Serotonin: Like most medical antidepressants, kindness stimulates the production of serotonin. This feel-good chemical heals your wounds, calms you down, and makes you happy.

The positive effects are experienced in the brain of everyone who witnesses kindness, improving their mood and making them significantly more likely to “pay it forward.” This means one good deed in a crowded area can create a domino effect and improve the day of dozens of people!

Kindness decreases

Pain: Engaging in acts of kindness produces endorphins, the brain’s natural painkiller.

Anxiety and Depression: There is an increase in positive moods, relationship satisfaction and a decrease in social avoidance in socially anxious individuals. Depression is reduced, while well-being and good fortune are increased.

Blood Pressure: Committing acts of kindness lowers blood pressure by creating emotional warmth and releasing oxytocin (which assists in dilating the blood vessels).

Ways to regain your sense of belonging through kindness

• Contributing to the lives of others by offering to listen and be a sounding board for them. This not only brings them joy but will give you a feeling of connectedness.
• Having compassion for others who are different – spend time helping others who are less fortunate or have different likes or needs than you.
• Letting go of judgments that build walls. Instead focus on people by connecting with them – we all have issues.
• Being kind in your words and way of thinking. Use words that offer strength, compassion, acceptance and caring.
• Beginning to build healthy relationships with others using kindness. Healthy relationships are important to our sense of well-being. Help trauma survivors realize they are safe and secure by showing them kindness.
• Giving and receiving compliments with kindness.
• Being compassionate of others who are suffering.
• Doing things that bring you joy; volunteering at an animal shelter or a soup kitchen.
• Being kind to yourself instead of putting yourself down. Take a compliment for what it truly is – an act of genuine caring and kindness.
• Joining groups or clubs that are interesting to you. Participate in discussions and be kind to those who are members.

We all want to feel like we belong. When our sense of belonging becomes affected by trauma or other factors, we need to find a way to regain it. Kindness to yourself and to others is one of the easiest ways to begin gaining your sense of belonging back. And it helps your health!

At the Arise Society, we help young adults that are struggling with anxiety, depression, gaming and other motivational issues. We provide personalized academic, therapeutic, and social support in a real-world setting, which gives our students the skills to reach their fullest potential.

Having a sense of belonging, acceptance, and support from the people around us is fundamental to motivation. Students often struggle with independence due to a lack of social development, finding it challenging to develop new relationships outside of strong friendships they’ve experienced in the past. A key aspect of our social support comes from the friendships and significant time spent between our program professionals and students. Fun activities, outings, and shared experiences provide a basis of understanding for our students’ social needs and areas of improvement.

Source and more information about kindness at the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation: https://www.randomactsofkindness.org